out in the woods behind the house there's a tree with peculiar markings on it - they look like hieroglyphs, stylized animal-heads-on-human-bodies. it's unlikely those markings were made by real egyptians, but the longer you tell yourself that, the more amusement you'll be able to give - like the world's most selfless secret santa gift ever - to your friends and colleagues. that tree is the solution to an immensely long puzzle trail designed by bored university students in the first half of the 20th century. no one's yet found the treasure, but when the time comes - and something tells us that time will arrive shortly - the students will probably arrive in a torrent and not a trickle. be ready.
- sweep off your porch
- empty the garage of children's bicycles - why do you need fifteen of them, anyhow? how old are you, twelve?
- stop using giant national geographic world maps as wallpaper. they're visible from the street and those college kids are going to think you're an imbecile
- shave your legs, because the monkey suit itches worst on the back of your calves
the markings don't depict anything, but it's the mere fact of them that's so wonderful. someone took the time to make drawings and carve them into the bark of the tree behind the house. probably the house wasn't there at the time. back then everything was trees, and clear water, and a bright hope for the future. then you suburban types moved in and ruined everything. thanks.
