keep your mind in shape for when you bring the light of culture to faraway countries: poland, the outback, mars.
remember that to the savages YOU are the foreigner. let's not be reductive here but sweet bitches of all nations really go for that.
remember also that wonderful american money is worth nothing abroad. in a pinch, if you run out of toilet paper on the road - after a long backpacking trip across the whole of asia, say, having exhausted both rolls of TP you brought with you - at that point you can wipe your backside with a $100 bill and savour a feeling thus far limited to the vice president. an ass like that needs the royal treatment.
deodorant is considered unsexy abroad. don't be afraid to embrace your inner wookie or italian.
'go dutch' is not slang for 'smoke marijuana' - if the sweet bitches offer to go dutch with you, don't immediately reach for the honey-squeeze-bottle bong in your designer backpack.
the moleskine is the stupendous notebook of cultured, savvy bourgeois champions the world over. it is available in pretty colors if merely having a thirty dollar notebook the size of a credit card isn't ostentatious enough for you. different colors for different moods. everyone will think you're some kind of genius. let them think that. the truth will only depress everyone.
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